I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
