I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
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i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
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We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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