he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
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It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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