Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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