honey bunches of taint.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
