So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
