I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my being single is dangerous.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
