My hair reeks of homosexuality.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
