Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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