My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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