Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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