Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
