Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I had to cum in my sink.
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