Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
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No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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