we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
