I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so explain again why im purple
no
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
