i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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