Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize