Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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