found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
and i looked up. we had an audience...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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