I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
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My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
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Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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