My Higher Power is John Stamos
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize