Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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