Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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