Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
