I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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