Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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