i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
