you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
