i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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