i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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