So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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