God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
