There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
