i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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