I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
wow bdsm is so cute
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
