He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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