too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
