Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
