I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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