Soap is not a condiment
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
