dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
