those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
