No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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