That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
