You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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