I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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