If that was your dad, he is hot
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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