yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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