Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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