are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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