I cockslap morals
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
