Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
