i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
