that's an acceptable place to lick
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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