glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
