whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
