morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
