I need help removing her.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
