miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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