there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
