Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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