Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
