Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
