I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
