apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
this hospital has no fireball
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
