does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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