Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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