I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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