I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
