By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
